4.20% of American Voters
ATTENTION
Presidential Candidates:
Your Name Could Be Here!
BONG HITS FOR ___________________!
Who will get the Pot Head Vote in 2008? Probably No Major Presidential Candidate. Consider the History…
History
Pot Heads are often overlooked in Presidential Campaigns. This is because, historically, Pot Heads tend to flake out on Presidential Candidates. It’s always the same story: they get really excited about a Presidential Candidate, support him or her all the way through the primaries, but when Election Day comes, something distracts them, like, for example, an old episode of “Mr. Ed.”
Not many people remember that Richard Nixon preempted network television on November 7th, 1972 for a full day marathon of “Mr. Ed.”
It was a brilliant strategy, because just as polls were closing, they aired “Ed the Witness.” SPOILER ALERT…In “Ed the Witness,” Wilbur ends up in Mexican jail after refusing to pay a repair bill to a mechanic who damaged his trailer. Mr. Ed has to gallop across the border to come to the rescue….
Wait, what were we talking about? 1
Oh, right.
What Pot Head hasn’t dreamed of being sprung from Mexican jail by a talking horse? Anyway, Nixon’s people knew this, and used it to defeat George McGovern in a landslide.
To this day, George McGovern asserts that he lost the Election due to the striking resemblance between Wilbur and Thomas Eagleton.
How to Effectively Pander to Pot Heads
- Consider offering free food, but don’t blow your whole stash. Hillary Clinton’s campaign spent most of the 200 million plus dollars they raised on refreshments for Iowa Caucus attendees. It would have worked too, but for the “Green Acres” marathon on TV Land that day. Her campaign never recovered.
- Expand Medical Marijuana prescription guidelines to include patients afflicted with “Reefer Madness.”
- Replace Current Vice Presidential Nominee with Willie Nelson.
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1 Dude, that horse is talking
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