55% of American Voters1
Women with Osteoporosis had a difficult Primary Season in 2008. First, the Presidential Candidate they were supporting2 was defeated in a bitter Democratic Primary. Then, there was that slip and fall at in the mall walking out of Dress Barn. After months of crutches and physical therapy, Women with Osteoporosis are ready to be pandered to by Presidential Candidates.
Given their anger over the results of the Primary Season, Women with Osteoporosis are being wooed aggressively by both Presidential Candidates. Some Women with Osteoporosis have publicly threatened to support the Republican Candidate, despite the fact that he does not believe that Women with Osteoporosis3 have the right to make decisions about their own bodies, even in cases that threaten the woman’s health.4
If this Swing Voter Demo decides to swing to the Republican Candidate, the next time Women with Osteoporosis snap a femur, they may have to cross State Lines in order to receive treatment.5 After all, shouldn’t it be left up to the Government to decide if Women with Osteoporosis have to keep their broken bones?
How to Pander Effectively to Women with Osteoporosis
These Calcium-Deficient Cougars appreciate personal attention from Presidential Candidates, but be sure not to shake their hands too aggressively – otherwise you might end up hearing from an Ambulance Chaser.
1 Over age 50, with female genitalia
2 …with the aid of an artificial hip
3 This also applies to Women with Ovaries
3 Insert Air Quotes Here.
5 Alternatively, this Demo may resort to dangerous Back Alley castings…