0.0000000000000000000000001% of American Voters
Sunday Morning Quarterbacks are an incalculably valuable Swing Voter Demographic for Presidential Campaigns, because they always know exactly what the Presidential Candidates should have done.1
This country is filled with Sunday Morning Quarterbacks – you can find them on the Op-Ed Pages of your local newspaper, in Snarky Political Blogs or shouting at you from the 24-hour Cable News Networks.2
You see, just like the old adage, “Those who can’t do, teach,” Sunday Morning Quarterbacks aren’t particularly good at anything themselves, but they have a unique ability to evaluate Presidential Campaigns from the comfort of their asses.
They have the luxury of never being wrong, because no one ever calls this Demo out when they are wrong- yet this Demo feels completely justified in claiming umbrage from afar when no one listens to them.
For some inexplicable reason, Presidential Campaigns occasionally act on the recommendations of Sunday Morning Quarterbacks. Scholars and historians continue to be mystified by this strange phenomenon.
Luckily, this Election Cycle, one of the major Presidential Candidates is now taking Campaign advice exclusively from another Useless Blowhard:
1 Is that a log in your eye?
2 See also: Ostensibly Impartial, Quasi-Journalist TV Personalities (future entry)