1.001% of American Voters
Pirates be Libertarians, savvy?
Pirates be tired of the government intruding on Pirate’s lives, sinking precious treasure on bloated bureaucracy and Nanny-State entitlements1 like social securrrrrrrrity, public infrrrrrrastructurrrrrrre and law enforrrrrrrrrrcement.
Ever since The Patriot Act, Pirates have been battling Fourth Amendment infringements, because illegal search and seizure is very damaging to a Pirate’s bottom line.
Pirates are notoriously hard to organize, so, in the interests of full disclosure, we have cobbled the Pirate Demographic together from several smaller demographics. Here are some of the groups and their diverse policy goals:
The Sons of Blackbeard
– Maintain secret control of all aspects of Pirate life
Pirate-Americans with Disabilities
– When will Medicare will offer full peg-leg coverage?
– What Pirates do below deck be nobody’s business
Which Presidential Candidate will get the Pirate vote in 2008?2
1 Ever since bad experience with Angela Lansbury, Pirates have been virulently anti-Nanny state.
2 Pirates will no doubt vote for Bob Barrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr