3.1415926% of American Voters
In recent weeks, Hockey Moms have hip-checked their way into the public consciousness. Hockey Moms are a critical Swing Voter Demographic in the 2008 Election, because they have not yet decided which Presidential Candidate they will support.1
Both Presidential Candidates are aiming to score with Hockey Moms in 2008.
But who are these Hockey Moms? And how can the Presidential Candidates secure the support of these Swing Voters?
First, a little history…
The Mom Swing Voter Demographic has always played a crucial role in Presidential Elections.2 In 2000, Soccer Moms netted the Presidency for George W. Bush by chauffeuring Swing Voters to the polls in their minivans. And in 2004, Security Moms carried out a coup by scaring their neighbors into voting for George W. Bush again.3
The importance of Moms in Presidential Elections should not come as a surprise, as Moms vote in much larger numbers than their Dad counterparts.
In 2008, Hockey Moms have been drafted into the role of the most critical Mom Swing Voter Demographic for Presidential Candidates to secure.
You see, Hockey Moms represent all Moms in America. Indeed, Hockey Moms represent all Women Voters in America. Because Hockey Moms have achieved the American Dream. They can do-it-all: kids, a successful career, staying perfectly tan even when the sun never rises and… they don’t just bring home the bacon, they slaughter the moose that trampled the lip-stick covered pig that provided that bacon.
What Woman in America can’t identify with that? And every Woman in America agrees with the policy initiatives of Hockey Moms: abstinence-only education, gun-rights for bored teenagers and outlawing abortion in all cases except polar bear rape.4
Whichever Presidential Candidate drills their message into Hockey Moms enough before November 4th will be our next President.5
1 If only the Election could be decided by penalty shots…
2 Where always > 1920
3 Luckily, Security Moms did not need to employ Plan B: sleeper holds
4 Save up for that Polar Bear Rape Kit!!
5 Only one Presidential Campaign has real Runner Up Experience.