10% of American Voters1
People Born With No Sense Of Humor suffer from a lamentable affliction, unable to comprehend irony, parody, satire or a good dirty joke about those famous bar-hopping Priests and Rabbis. The Pharmaceutical Industry has invested millions over the years to find a pill to alleviate the pain of these sad people, to no avail.2
So, People Born With No Sense Of Humor are forced to spend their free time pouring over media of all types, searching for anything they can label offensive, blasphemous, insensitive, insulting, inconsiderate, distasteful, repugnant, revolting, callous or cruel.
Then, this Demo invests copious amounts of time trying to convince Normal Americans to feel similarly offended, by writing letters to their editor of their local newspaper,3 mounting boycotts and organizing signature campaigns to deport the offending party.
However, despite their miserable malady, People Born With No Sense Of Humor have made important contributions to the American Political Process. Now, Presidential Candidates exclusively repeat focus-grouped sound-bytes, devoid of any real humor or honesty, so as not to offend People Born With No Sense Of Humor.
As a result, American Voters never get real policy questions answered, and have no idea what a Presidential Candidate will do once he is in office and faced with real world issues.4
People Born With No Sense Of Humor will no doubt be joyless contributors in determining who will win the White House in 2008.
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1 Who spend their days leaving comments on blogs
2 Restless Leg Syndrome, however, is now treatable, thank God. Ask your doctor!
3 See Also: Sunday Morning Quarterbacks
4 See Also: The past eight years
Stumble It!
OH MY GOD I love this–this satirical wisdom describes exactly what I was thinking about some of my dried-up, gimpy friends for a while. Too bad that it’s addressed to the people born with no sense of humor and they don’t have the skill to decipher its sarcasm. With their penchant for offence, that is probably all they will get out of it. I work in the pharma industry and I am definitely going to start working on a humor pill. I want to save them!!!!